"Clothing is Genderless": Living in Korea's Most Conservative City

I haven't posted in so long that its not worth catching up anymore so instead, we'll resume right in the thick of things, with a brief recounting of the general conservatism in Daegu.

Daegu is known to be the most socially and politically conservative city in South Korea and I've definitely been having a case of the "we're not in Bushwick anymore" blues a little this week. However, I've had some really encouraging interactions here, too.

Generally speaking, (a very dangerous transition, I realize) Korea operates as a collectivist culture where individualism is simply not a core value for most people. This probably strikes the average American as odd, since we have become a society driven by self-interest and the pursuit of our own unique versions of happiness. As a goofball with a lot of liberal poltiical views, I have found the lack of diversity particularly frustrating. This cutlural difference has been most problematic to me when it comes to women, and the push for them to all look the same- the same meaning impossibly beautiful. From their skin care regimins to plastic surgery, the beauty standards for women are fierce and pressure is felt from an early age. My host sister, who is 7, has already mentioned wanting to diet and at work, several of my co-teachers skip meals in an effort to lose weight.

All this to say, I'm annoyed because people keep implying that I'm ugly. Ok, exaggeration- in fact I get an annoying amount of compliments becuase of my blondish hair and blueish eyes- but one way for Korean people to show they care about you is by trying to help you fit in. To that end, my host family has repeatedly remarked on my weight and my co-teacher is seriously distraught over the three pimples on my face. In fact, she has asked me about my skin twice and yesterday went so far as to say that she is "worried" about me and my alleged change in skin health. Because we are tight and she has an understanding of the differences in American and Korean culture, I felt OK telling her that I was fine with my skin the way it was, and in fact, was getting pretty stressed out about the high standards of beauty in Korea. I told her that it frustrated me that so much was based off of ones' appearance and, moreso, about attracting and appeal to male expectations for beauty. She said that she agreed, and also felt frustrated, (she currenty skips lunch and drinks water with rice in it instead) but that the pressure was just too intense to ignore.

I came home from that interaction pretty annoyed and ate dinner with my host family with a little more angst than usual. My host family is probably more progressive than most here- my host mom is a working mother- this alone is progressive- and both my host parents have Ph.Ds. They generally are pretty laid back, and while some of their comments have rubbed me the wrong way, I get the sense that they are very different from a lot of their peers. That being said, I did not expect my host mom to recount entire plot of a film about gay marriage to me last night, but that's exactly what she did. When mentioning her new favorite actor, she said she had been up until 1 am the night before researching his newest movie "Shake it all about," a film, she said, about a couple "who is gay." I honestly thought I misheard her. Homosexuality here is not often discussed and very rarely, I assumed, was it discussed without judgement or disdain. My host-mom, however, was nothing but celebratory. She showed me the entire movie made into GIFs complete with homosexual make-outs and the couple's marriage proposal. She called the couple "cute" in a way that didn't seem patronizing to me, and then remarked on how hard their situation was in the face of family and relationship problems. I told her I really wanted to see the movie, and in fact loved movies about gay rights issues, and she said we should watch it together!

So there. Just when you think you moved from Bushwick, the neighborhood where I've literally seen a drag queen watering plants, back to the 1950s, you find out that there are cool things happening everywhere. Not to mention that I also saw a line of sweatshirts that say "Clothing is Genderless" yesterday as well as a t-shirt reading "Bushwick Art Show, New York."

So here's to diversity in the US and South Korea and to more exciting changes to learn and share.