Go Straight, Don't Know

I've been getting wrapped up lately in worry. In every 4 hour Korean class (a space which lends itself to a lot of free think time as unintelligible Korean flows by), I am bound to end up pondering the uncertainties of my placement, my relationships, my career path, the fate of my grant year. Though I have been truly enjoying myself here, it is fair to say that worry has shadowed some of my days.

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Yesterday, however, as I ran in the 90 degree Korean humidity and questioned my path, literally and figuratively, a quote from the Buddhist monk we met in Sokjo came back to me in the nick of time: "Go straight, don’t know."

He spoke to the beauty of the unknown, the wisdom that can come with embracing uncertainties with wonder instead of worry. A baby, he said, picks up a new object and does not think "I like this," or "I don't like that." Witholding judgement and shedding expectations, she examines it with curiosity and wonder. If it does not serve her, she may put it down, but without qualifications or fret.

Tomorrow is our placement ceremony. We'll be called on stage in front of the Fulbright Korea Program Director and our names will be called next to the name of a province, a pin placed to represent our spot on a map. As I embark on what will truly be the beginning of my work this year, I will keep that advice in the forefront of my mind- "Go straight, don't know," for if I continue to follow the path laid out before me, without judging or expecting, constructing or adjusting, good will appear.

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